”no u arent doing it right let me demonstrate”
Johnny depp teaching other johnny depps so they can rule the world in his absence
The mother Depp teaches it’s Depplings how to behave in the wild.
more you tilt your body your character will get away from danger
the louder you yell, the more critical hits you’ll land
when you stand up you can see everyone’s weakspots
when you tilt your head you’ll be able to see more of the area
When you lean forward, you get +30% concentration.
When you use controller 1, it means you’ll win
Throwing yourself bodily to the side helps you avoid obstacles in racing.
Threatening the playable character with physical injury will make platform puzzles easier.
All of these things. All of them.
Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate youDay 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbagMonth 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRRMonth 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? PleaseMonth 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.Year 1: One down. 17 to go…Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEARTYear 3: Oh thank god that’s overYear 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shitYear 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS